Creed’s Time to Shine

If you don’t know who Creed Bratton is, you’ve never seen The Office. If you’ve never seen The Office, are you even a teenager of the 21st Century? Come on – get with it.

Now, if you have seen The Office… welcome; you’re safe here. This is a happy place. This glorious television program has many things that make it great, but the show’s staple are its characters. One character, in particular, takes the cake, and his name is Creed Bratton. Yes, not Michael, not Dwight, not Jim, not Pam, but Creed – Creed is the best Office character.

When Creed is on screen, there’s guaranteed to be a laugh. The nonsense that comes out of this man’s mouth is absolutely, undeniably, pure comedic treasure. His quirks and mannerisms are repulsive, yet endearing. Bless the hearts of The Office writers and casting directors; they done good. 

Here are eight reasons why Creed Bratton is the pride of The Office:

 

  1. In the “Casino Night” episode after getting caught for stealing (would we expect anything less?), Creed says, “I stopped caring a long time ago.” This is further demonstrated during the “Christmas Party” episode in season 2. After Jim opens up his Secret Santa gift from Creed (which was an old shirt in a grocery sack), Jim says, “He obviously forgot to get me something, and he went into his closet and dug out this little number and then threw it in a bag.” Creed then unapologetically confirms, “Yep. That’s exactly what happened.”
  2. The man literally cannot remember anyone’s name. He’s called Angela “Andrea the Office Witch” (but not “witch”), Meredith “Mary Beth/the chick Michael hit with his car/the red-head”, Jim “the tall one”, Andy “Jim”, Pam “the receptionist”, and Darryl “Darnell”. His memory is so bad, at the end of Season 9, Episode 1, “New Guys,” Creed says, “Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.” Creed… you work at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company.
  3. He’s very passionate… about scuba. In Season 6, Episode 1, “Gossip”, a bunch of lies have spread about everyone in the office, and one is that Creed has asthma. Creed confronts Pam and Jim saying, “Did one of you tell Stanley that I have asthma? ‘Cause I don’t. If this gets out, they won’t let me scuba, and if I can’t scuba, what am I working toward?” I don’t know who “they” are, but for the love of all things holy, let the man scuba.
  4. I’m 90% sure he wasn’t even hired at Dunder Mifflin but somehow got away with working there? In Season 4, Episode 19, “Goodby Toby,” Holly asks Creed what he does there, and he immediately excuses himself to complain to the camera crew, saying, “What is wrong with that woman? She’s asking about stuff that’s nobody’s business. What do I do?… Really, what do I do here? I should’ve written it down. Qua-something… qua… quar… quabo… qual… quer… quabbity! Quabbity assuwance! No… no, no, no, but I’m getting close!” It’s quality assurance, Creed.
  5. Nothing was going to stop him from having peach pie (peach cobbler, to be exact) on his birthday. He tells Jim, “I don’t care who you talk to. Just make it happen.” When Jim says he’ll talk to Angela, Creed says, “Tell her it’s for Creed; she’ll know what that means.” Oh Creed… you wonderful, weird man, you.
  6. No consequence can deter this dude from doing what he wants. In Season 3, Episode 22, “Women’s Appreciation,” Creed enters the women’s restroom to discover Kevin, Jim, Ryan, and Toby already inside. He exclaims, “What are you doing in here? This is the women’s restroom!” Kevin responds, “You’re in here…” Creed later says to the camera crew, “I’m a pretty normal guy; I do one weird thing. I like to go in women’s room for #2. I’ve been caught several times, and I have paid dearly.”
  7. Creed blogs at www.creedthoughts.gov.www/creedthoughts – check it out. Just kidding – it’s only a word document Ryan created with a fake url at the top. However, the fact that this old fart even thought to blog is tremendously inspirational. Way to keep with the times, buddy.
  8. In Season 8, Episode 3, “Lotto”, Creed surprised us with his heartfelt patriotism when he said, “I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A, baby.” He swiftly adds, “And as a backup, I have a Swiss passport.” Oh Creed… dear, sweet Creed. We were almost normal there for a second…

 

I watched an hour of Creed highlights on YouTube to get this stuff, and as much as you should be thanking me, I thank you. Thank you for allowing me to disregard my AP Statistics homework (sorry Mrs. Nelson), so I could bask in the splendor of Creed Bratton. He is the best; I know it, and now you know it.