Women in Film: A Satire

Bailey Van Wagoner, Managing Editor, Business Manager, Web Editor

“Girls, come on! Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don’t think so! I don’t think so.” This beloved line from The Incredibles (and now, the sequel The Incredibles 2) seems innocent, right? Wrong. This quote from Elastigirl is a thinly veiled attack on men everywhere. Powerful female characters, like Elastigirl, threaten what boys need in their movies. After all, they are HALF of the movie-going audience, so society must listen to their desires first. It is evident that men don’t need more “strong” female characters in the movies they watch.

Boys just can’t relate to these women they see on screen. They are a completely different gender. Everyone knows that you can’t form a connection with a character’s emotions or story if they differ from yours. It’s not like women have ever made a connection with male lead characters. Why should men be expected to? All of these females taking over lead roles leaves only supporting characters for the men. What if the only characters that men had to look up to in movies were transparent roles like the love interest, the boy next door, the crazy stalker, the trophy husband, the clingy boyfriend, or the dude in distress. How awful! Who would these poor guys‘ role models be? Women can only imagine how scary it is for men to think about what that would be like.

Women fit best in supporting roles, so they don’t need to be main characters. Girls have always been the supporting characters to men in the real world. Their characters are meant to stand behind the men doing the hard work; like stealing shiny gold figures and running from rolling rocks, driving fast cars furiously, or flying through the sky in a cape and a spandex diaper. So, stop giving away these parts to women and leave the strong lead characters for the men. They’ve worked hard to get those jobs by, you know, just asking for them once.

I’m not saying there can’t be any female characters. On the contrary, we need women in movies. Just the right kind of women. Boys need to see the beautiful, supportive, flawless female characters typically portrayed in movies. These women distract from any real flaws or characteristics women have and show boys the perfection of the female gender. What harm is there in that? It’s a compliment to women to not show them as complex, flawed, or, you know, real. Seeing women as these beautiful objects helps guys to interact with women in their life. If they start thinking a woman has all these crazy human emotions and faults, how will they relate to them?

There are plenty of female characters in film as it is. The proclaimed need for progressive change is fake news. Assembly lines of carbon copy supporting female characters is what male audiences want and need in their movies. These women not only keep men comfortable and reassure them of their fragile egos, but they also have a benefit for women. So often, girls have no idea what they should look or act like. Watching movies gives them the standards of beauty and femininity they should strive for; if they want guys to notice and admire them (what girl doesn’t?). The boys can respond in kind by comparing girls to these characters and treat them like they are treated in the movies. Everyone is happy. Just think of what might happen if these characters were replaced by so-called “strong” women. Men wouldn’t know how to look at or act around women anymore. These hollywood feminists can keep their Elastigirls, Hermiones, General Organas, Wonder Women, Daeneryses, and Katnisses. Society doesn’t want or need them. For the sake of boys, stop making them watch these “real” female characters.