The Grizzly Growl

Winter Edition Advice Column

Sam Adamson, Staff Writer

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How do you deal with annoying people?

As there are many different types of people in this world, there are many different personalities. Everyone has lived their own story and no two stories are the same. It is easy for most to become irritated by those around them. Sitting in class with an individual blabbering unnecessary comments can be very obnoxious when you are trying to be engaged in your work. As nice as it would be to tell them to shut up, that is only fuel. They feed off the comments that give them the attention they seek. What do you do about the people that are unintentionally annoying? Some people don’t recognize that they are bothering others. Tolerance is a very important skill to learn for this situation. When we learn to be tolerant, the ability of patience comes easier. Take a step back to get at least a glimpse of their life. The old phrase, “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” is a very important key in this solution. Count to ten, take a deep breath, leave the room, try to talk to them personally, or think of things that person is good at. Do anything that will counteract the negative thoughts towards them. Once you learn to tolerate the annoying actions and comments of others, you soon will learn to enjoy more of those around you.

How do you cope with always being second place to everyone?

No one can ever explain the true feeling of losing. Experience is the only way to get a full understanding of not succeeding. There is no pain compared to the feeling of putting so much energy into something that you feel so much passion for, just to lose the possibility of success. It’s much harder when you get so close to gripping success in the hands that are scraped up from climbing the mountain of effort. Why put so much effort into something when your only result is taking 2nd place? Why stress about all of the work required just to fall short by one small fraction of a point?  Mr. Jensen mentioned, “there are 3 types of people in this world. Winners, Losers, and Bystanders. The worst person you can be is a Bystander.” If we don’t try, we will never have the chance to win. If we are on the sidelines watching those compete, we are not making any room in our own lives for success. Avoiding failure is avoiding success. Even if you lose, at least you put up a fight. After every 2nd place, chance of being chosen last, and one less point, raise your head up high and stay in the game. Staying in the game gives you a better chance of success than giving up. The perspective you have throughout your life affects all of the possible outcomes. Look at every loss as winning the chance to grow in experience.

 

How do you tell/show someone you love them?

Love is a difficult subject. What even is love? Love is different for everyone because of their experiences and personality. The words “I love you” can easily be thrown around, but should mean so much more and should be thought about in more depth before saying. Some people may be afraid of saying/hearing those words because they don’t want to lose the things they admit loving. Be cautious with those three words. Everyone has their own way of expressing love and love languages. Giving presents, spending alone time together, kissing/hugging, and physically saying “I love you” are a few ways that people express their love. A smaller fraction of people in this world express their love through less obvious actions. Although your life is busy, showing up to others’ life events portrays that the other person is worth more than the stress in your mind. Remembering the small details about a story told in a previous month, may show more compassion and intimacy than the Valentine candy hearts. Smaller acts of kindness can go a long way. If you are in a rough patch of the relationship, a less common way to show your love is through forgiveness. Forgiving the other for doing something that offended you shows that you still care about them. They most likely recognize that they have hurt you, and only wish for you to acknowledge their efforts to makes things at least a little bit better. The pain of knowing you emotionally hurt someone you truly care for only increases when you feel that that person will never forgive you. Within a relationship there will always be differences and difficulties that can either be worked through, or not. It is up to both people to decide if they want to break past this wall. If someone hurts you, there is nothing wrong with giving yourself time to heal, but if you still care for the person it is a healthy idea to work towards forgiving them. It’s not required to forgive them right away but it’s good to consider giving your forgiveness. Once you have decided to try to forgive them, let them know. Even if what they said was necessary, that does not mean that they ever intended to hurt you. Love is a very difficult subject to work on. Don’t be afraid to tell someone that they mean the world to you because for all you know, you could mean the world to them.

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